Posted by Laurie | November 3rd, 2009

Today was “my” day. The day I have no kids in the house for 7 hours. Except I did, because BigBoy was sick and stayed home with me. He was quiet and I barely noticed him in all honesty. He watched tv in our upstairs tv room with a water bottle to keep him hydrated. I asked him several times if he was hungry but he really didn’t have any appetite.

Still, it wasn’t the day I was looking forward to at all. The last four weeks I had volunteered on my free day in BigBoy’s classroom while they took skating lessons. It left me some time to get some work done, but none of the free time I so long for. Especially with DH working away I feel the weight of my responsibilities weighing me down. My free day is supposed to be the one day in a week when I can feel free for a little while. Free to go to the library alone, or to do some window shopping or maybe even get my hair done. Little things really – I have simple dreams!

So tonight I feel the weight almost crushing me. I’m the mom, I have to be here, I have to take care of them, especially when they are sick or tired or hungry or thirsty or just in need of hugs. But I haven’t had any time to take care of me it seemed and since the lovely time change has made BabyBoy decide to wake up at 5 am I was extra tired and cranky by the time 6pm rolled around. After yet another spilled cup of milk and a cranky baby screeching at me when I told him no, I ran and hid. Literally. I snuck to the basement stairs and closed the door behind me, knowing BabyBoy couldn’t open it. I went and folded a load of laundry (I know – what a rebel I am!), all the while listening to BabyBoy howl for me. He cannot stand when he can’t see me. And I didn’t want to go back up. How sad is that.

Thankfully they are all in bed and tonight the BigBoy has only a mild fever so I should be able to rest easier. Last night he was hovering close to 105 degrees and I was terrified. I put him in my bed to sleep so I could check his head regularly – he started to cool off in the wee morning hours, you know, just before BabyBoy woke me up for good Now it is quiet and peaceful for a few rare moments and I think I should get off this laptop and actually go enjoy them!

Tags: Boys Boys Boys, fever, hiding, kids, responsibilities, tired